No Mo CheMo!

I had an MRI a couple days after we returned from Mexico and also started my last round of chemotherapy. My MRI looked great. No sign of tumor growth. It was a week of celebrating with chemo ending. The trip was just what I needed/again and now I'm hoping I'm returning to my new normal state - sans chemo drugs in my body.

Dressed for my MRI.

About to enter the MRI machine.

 My last 3 pills.

 Award I was given along with a bag of rice to warm up or freeze for aches and pains.

 I also saw my ENT last week for a tube check. Remember I had tubes placed in my ears last spring. The tubes fixed my original ear problem and my trips to the ocean have been good. The tubes will probably fall out in 6 months to a year. Then I'm hoping my ears will be fine still and I won't have to get new ones. I am not a fan of my ear plugs and didn't wear them at all in Mexico and only parttime in Hawaii. I like to be able to hear.

I made a slideshow video showing my life over the past year.It's on youtube but I couldn't get it to upload on the blog, so go to the link. It's almost 10 minutes and has music to the pictures. If you are on facebook, you've probably seen it, if not, enjoy.

http://youtu.be/e7qXu59PG0s

Yesterday I went to see a gastroenterologist to see if I have an ulcer or other problem. I've had horrible bouts of heartburn over the past 6 months that my oncologist can't explain. My doctor is really nice and prescribed a new drug and told me to stop taking another. I'll go back in a month to make sure I'm improving.

I thought I'd add part of a blog post I started last fall. It shows that this has not been easy for me and I have not always bore it with a smile on my face.

"I have so many thoughts and feelings that roll through my head daily. I decided it’s time to just get them out there, besides in my daily journal. Keep in mind that I’m writing this on a “not so good” day, so I may be more negative than I typically am. But don’t interpret that as me giving up, I’m not, I just need to vent. I started to write this a month ago, during/after my last chemo cycle, began to feel better and then decided to not post. Now I feel crappy again and it’s much easier to complain when you feel sick.

This is one of the main things I wanted to write about. So many people compliment me on my positive attitude throughout this cancer challenge. Well, let me tell you that I am not always positive. I try to think/stay positive, but bottom line – CANCER SUCKS!! Bigtime. The diagnosis, the surgery, treatments, prognosis’, side effects, and the just not knowing. I hate my bad days. I feel lousy, like a horrible wife and mother and I just want to sit around and sleep and make the pain/uncomfortableness go away. I have medicine, and I take it, but it doesn’t always work when I need it to. Give me a couple days, and I will probably feel like my “new” old self but today, I’m too sick to exercise, and I want to curl up on my bed, forget about my kids/duties/responsibilities and sleep or watch netflix.

I’m super bugged that after 5 months of maintenance chemo, my body is not on a regular side effect schedule. I try to plan what life I have around when I’ll be feeling good, but that has been different every month. And, on top of that, I legally wasn’t supposed to drive for most of this year. I’d be lying if I told you I was strict and didn’t. But, I do have a life, kids, a husband and errands I need to run. I try not to go too far (stay in my valley), but I have driven down the canyon a couple times. I have wonderful family and friends that have helped me so much during the year, but I get sick of having to ask for so much. Good news is, I am seizure free for now, hopefully forever. One small miracle at a time."

Just a small glimpse into my life. I'll update as the months go on as to how I'm doing. Thanks again all you readers for your support for myself and my family.