Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Not-posers

If there is one thing in the outdoor world that really irritates me, that is posers. I can't stand the people that have the nicest, newest gear, brag up a big storm, claim to be able to do fantastic feats only to turn out to be a total doofus. So, for all of you that want to avoid being a poser, here is my crash course guide.

This photo was taken in the spring of 2001 right before Carson and Marisa took off for Maryland. Carson had never been to Moab so I took him, Marisa, Chris and Nancy mountain biking on the Porcupine Rim trail (my favorite Moab trail). Actually, Marisa was our shuttle service because she was like 11 months pregnant or something. Anyway, this picture will teach you how not to be a poser. For anyone that has been to Moab, you know that Moab can be overrun with annoying posers, so we made sure as to not be mistaken for posers. We, my friends, were the real deal- hard core.

Look at this picture closely and you will see how to be hard core. Do you see a bike rack? No sirree! We just strap the bikes down to the top of our vehicle. Who cares about scratches on the bikes or car? Again, we impress people with our skills, not our fancy equipment. Arcteryx, Pearl Izumi, Mtn. Hardware and other brands are so unnecessary when you have overalls. Boo yah! And, as for helmets on a very treacherous trail, who needs those? Chris and Nancy were the hard core winners for riding the trail sans helmets. 2 thumbs up to you guys. Hey Nancy, what are you doing with your left hand? Were you guys even married yet? I guess you weren't married on the Jackson Hole trip either, so carry on. Also, who needs a hot companion at their side when you can be the ultimate 5th wheel with two married couples? Yeah, I'm so tough as a tag-along, 5th wheel.

You might be saying, "yeah, well that's a jeep you're in, so you're just following the poser crowd." Not so fast! This jeep was/is no ordinary jeep. It was totalled.....twice! And it's still running. Carson is still driving that beast around in the Pacific Northwest. Beat that all you posers with your brand new, jacked up, tricked out jeeps.

I challenge any of you to find anything more not-poser than the 5 of us on this trip. And for those still unsure about how to not be a poser: let your skills doing the talking for you, not your fancy, schmancy, used once, outdoor gear.

7 comments:

Carson Calderwood said...

Sweet memories. Do you remember what the one hero boy said to Nancy on the trail? I would call her up to tell her to look at the post but she's probably making out with Chris right now and I wouldn't want to interrupt.

Chris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lucy said...

Make out session done. I don't know what the big deal was; we did it with our eyes closed and our Huffies ;0).

Marisa said...

Now I'm dying to know what Chris posted and deleted. The Jeep looks so new and we all look so young! Well, except for Nancy because she looks the same. Too bad we didn't get a picture of the huge scrape Carson got from his belly button to his neck. Now I actually have a mountain bike AND a rack on the back of the Jeep and no dangerous cliff-edge trails to use it on, only some bush-whacking rides through the forest pulling the kids in the trailer behind me.

Dr Calderwood said...

The deleted Chris post was basically Nancy logged in under Chris. It's the same, just under her name. I laugh that we didn't grab a bike rack from my work, or helmets for Chris and Nancy. We obviously grabbed a bike for Carson, so it's not like we didn't have those available to us. I guess it was just such a spontaneous trip we jetted out of town as quickly as possible.

Karina & John Calderwood said...

HAHAHA! That killed me. I have to get John to read this post.

The Gibson's said...

Yeah, you should have called. You ran right by my house. I drove by a lot of runners. Way to go girl :)