Conference talks (cont.)

Here is my response to Carson:

 Like you said, to understand why God allows rape, murder, torture, disasters, etc. one needs to have an eternal perspective.  There is no way you could believe in a merciful and loving God if you only viewed this life from a mortal perspective.  I realized on my mission, like you said, God allows suffering to try us, to help us grow (growth is impossible, both physically and spiritually without struggle), to teach us of agency, and to manifest his miraculous hand at times.  When we start to understand that this life is a blip on the radar screen of eternity, we understand that as miserable as some of the conditions and events are in this life, as devastating as some experiences are, they are miniscule compared to the glory and joy we will have for the eternities.  And, by coming to this earth and being subject to the weaknesses of a mortal body, like the lusts and temptations, we can learn to master our urges and become more like God.  So, unfortunately I never saw that lady again who posed that question to me, but I now have an answer I can provide to my kids, friends, or even strangers if I am presented with that situation again.
Oh, and one reason why I read the criticisms found in the bloggernacle is, as I explained to Lisa, it causes me to think of why I believe what I believe.  As I begin to reflect on why they are wrong or mistaken, my mind becomes more aware of the issue and I know that I become more open to inspiration and revelation regarding the certain doctrine.  Then as a result as I am reading my scriptures or listening to conference talks, things jump out at me explaining what might have been eluding me earlier.  It strengthens my testimony to see the "proof", if you will, of why I believed what I believed.  The thing that I am scared of, and the thing that I try to balance is, I don't want to dive too deeply into the anti-mormon critiques because I don't want to lose the spirit in my life and I don't want to fall down that slippery slope and end up bitter and distanced from the gospel I love.  But at the same time, I don't want to be afraid of arguments, claims, history or aspects of the gospel I live.  I guess I'm saying that it's hard to know where that balance should be.  I think it is damaging to hide my head in the sand, ignore their claims, and to blindly follow the leaders of the church.  But, feel that it is even more damaging to be critical of the church leaders and leave the church, even if they are leading us astray (which they are not).  So, I would rather err on the side of caution.